Chuckles for September 2000
Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.
A conclusion is simply the place where you got tired of thinking.
Did you ever stop to think . . . and forget to start again?
If at first you DO succeed, try not to look astonished!
There can't be a crisis today, my schedule is already full.
If it takes a lot of words to say what you have in mind, give it more thought. -- Dennis Roch
What is the capital of Washington? W is the capital.
"I'm a great housekeeper. I get divorced. I keep the house." --Zsa Zsa Gabor
Who is this General Failure and why is he reading my hard drive?
You know you've had too much coffee when you can type 60 words a minute -- with your feet.
What does a pig use to store data on a computer? A sloppy disk.
The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
When you breath, you 'inspire'. When you don't breath, you expire.
I used to be conceited, but now I'm perfect
If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be ``meetings.''
A secretary indented her car after leaving too narrow a margin. (punsoftheday.com)
Cards you'll never see at Hallmark: "Looking back over the years that we've been together, I can't help but wonder -- what was I thinking?!"
You know you've had too much coffee when you want to be cremated so you can spend eternity in a coffee can.
Decaflon: The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
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