Chuckles for August 2000
No one would remember the Good Samaritan if he had only good intentions. He had money as well. -- Margaret Thatcher, courtesy oneliners-and-proverbs.com
Ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you, but when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window?
Eagles may soar, but groundhogs don't get sucked into jet engines. (Courtesy siglets.com)
Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.(Courtesy siglets.com)
A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
``I must follow the people. Am I not their leader?'' -- Benjamin Disraeli
Why didn't the dog speak to his foot?
It's not polite to talk back to your paw.
Why didn't the dog speak to his foot? It's not polite to talk back to your paw.
What's O. J. Simpson's Internet address? Slash, slash, backslash, slash, slash, escape.
What's the difference between a lawyer and God? God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
The main accomplishment of almost all organized protests is to annoy people who are not in them.
And on the eighth day God said, "O.K. Murphy. You take over."
Conversation-ender: "I can't remember if I'm the good twin or the evil one."
As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in schools. (Oneliners-and-proverbs.com)
Conversation ender: ``Let me show you how the guards used to do it.''
There are three kinds of people: those who can count and those who can't.
It's not hard to meet expenses -- they're everywhere.
Don't use a big word where a diminutive one will suffice.
Cards you'll never see at Hallmark: ``We have been friends for a very long time . . . What do you say we call it quits?''
Diplomacy is the art of letting someone have your way.
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