Chuckles for July 2000
Employers' lingo: ``Some overtime required.'' Meaning: ``Some time each night and some time each weekend.''
Families are like fudge .. mostly sweet with a few nuts.
Do pilots take crash courses?
Conversation enders: ``Make yourself at home. Clean my kitchen.''
Most outrageous lawsuits of the 90s: A bank robber sued a bank, the police and a California city after he got away from the bank with marked money containing a tear-gas device that caused burned him when he stuffed it into his pants.
Sure-fire conversation ender: "Everyone thinks I'm psychotic except my friends deep inside the Earth."
If athletes get athlete's foot, do astronauts get mistletoe?
How is being at a singles bar different from going to the circus? At the circus the clowns don't talk.
The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we all beleive that we are above-average drivers.
The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we all believe that we are above-average drivers.
The most powerful force in the universe is gossip.
Can you buy an entire chess set in a pawn shop?
Did Noah keep his bees in archives?
Q.What do you get if you cross an elephant with a kangaroo? A.Great big holes all over Africa.
After all is said and done, more is said than done.
``Can I trade this job for what's behind Door No. 2?''
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called "rush hour"?
Do not confuse your career with your life.
Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?
The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.
What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? A stick.
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