Chuckles for May 2000
The Arkansas state trooper pulls over a pickup truck and asks the driver, "Got any ID?" Replies the driver: "'Bout what?"
Sign at a farm: "Horse manure, 50 cents per pre-packed bag. 20 cents, do-it-yourself."
From actual letter to landlord: ``Our kitchen floor is very damp, we have two children and would like a third, so will you please send someone to do something about it.''
The things that come to those who wait may be the things left by those who got there first.
Employer's Lingo: ``Requires team leadership skills.'' Meaning: ``You'll have the responsibilties of a manager, without the pay or respect.''
You must be an Illinoisan if... Your idea of a traffic jam is 10 cars waiting to pass a tractor on the highway.
You must be an Illinoisan if... your idea of a really great tenderloin is when the meat is twice as big as the bun.
You must be an Illinoisan if... you think of the four major food groups as beef, pork, and Jell-O salad with marshmallows.
You must be an Illinoisan if... your dream vacation is a trip to Rockhome Gardens.
Signs your computer has a virus: Your motherboard keeps making chicken soup.
Why is it that night falls, but day breaks?
If you jog backwards, will you gain weight?
Signs your computer has a virus: Every time you doubleclick, a message box asks: "Is that your final answer?"
Signs your computer has a virus: Your web browser just tossed its cookies.
Age doesn't always bring wisdom. Sometimes age comes alone.
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