LOCAL FOOTBALL SCORING UPDATES PRESENTED BY THE HUNGRY HOBO:

A Week of Chuckles

September 19
How do you catch a unique bird?
A: Unique up on it.
(funology.com)

September 17
Why does a stork stand on one leg?
A: Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
(funology.com)

September 15
What did Tennessee?
A: The same thing Arkansas.
(funology.com)

September 10
Knock, knock
Who’s there?
Iva.
Iva who?
I’ve a sore hand from knocking!
(funology.com)

September 08
A man had a pet centipede. He said, “centipede, go get the paper and make it snappy!” A half an hour later the man went outside and said, “I thought I told you to get the paper a half an hour ago!” “Well, I had to put on my shoes,” said the centipede.
(funology.com)

September 05
What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?
A: Use a pen.
(funology.com)

September 03
What’s in the middle of nowhere?
The letter H.
funology.com

Past Chuckles





Local events heading








  Today is Friday, Sept. 19, the 262nd day of 2014. There are 103 days left in the year.
1864 -- 150 years ago: Charles M. Osborn of this city, a lawyer of prominence, who voted for Lincoln in 1860 is now out strong for McClellan and will take the stump for him.
1889 -- 125 years ago: The George Fleming company had begun its dried fruit packing in a branch plant on 16th Street, Rock Island, employing nearly a hundred workers.
1914 -- 100 years ago: The cornerstone of the new Eagles home was laid. Building committee members were John Kobeman, Fred Ehmke and Frank Wich.
1939 -- 75 years ago: Former Kaiser Wilhelm, in exile, is sad as the Nazis march with communists.
1964 -- 50 years ago: Ninety-two members of the acappella choir at Davenport's West High School today accepted an invitation to perform at the New York World's Fair on June 13, 1965.
1989 -- 25 years ago: A Rock Island woman is one of 50 winners of $10,000 in cash in the Illinois State Lottery's "Celebration "89" instant ticket game. Dawn Loeffler was the third winner to be chosen through daily drawings that began Aug. 28 and will run 50 consecutive days.






(More History)