To the best of my knowledge:|
** My family is sporting a steroid-free tree this Christmas. Ornaments of Sammy Sosa, Barry Bonds, Mark McGwire and Roger Clemens will remain in the box this year.
** You can't sucker-punch a psychic, so that makes Lindsay Lohan innocent, right?
** We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
** It is a great hire by the city of Rock Island in naming Jeff Van Huizen as its police chief.
** I'm supposed to respect my elders, but it's getting harder and harder for me to find one.
** Once I get all the good cards, everyone decides it's time to play something different.
** There is nothing better than the look on someone's face when you refuse to get angry over something silly they have done. It's even better if you smile and walk away.
** Texting while driving must be OK if you are tooling about in a white Ford Taurus with a "Rock Island County'' sign on the side. Nice message to send.
** The strangest thing on the planet is waking up after a nap and not knowing what day it is.
** You don't need a new year to make a change, all you need is a Monday.
** Not having a dog means my son is forced to eat his own homework.
** The world's best welcome mat reads: "The house was clean last week. Sorry you missed it.''
** "Christmas'' lights, not "holiday'' lights, rock. The more the merrier.
** Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.
** A nice woman leaving Lagomarcino's Confectionery (Moline) recently told me: "We have to save the Earth; it's the only planet that has chocolate.''
** If the service industry took a page from the folks at ACT II Transportation, of Coal Valley, the world would be a better place.
** There should be a constitutional amendment outlawing anything "Gangnam Style." I still don't know what he's singing.
** The greatest up-sale scam in the history of mankind is the car wash dude trying to sell you the under-carriage protector spray thing. There's nothing underneath the car that needs protecting.
** Tradition is cool, but do the bride and groom really look forward to smashing cake in each other's faces?
** A tip of the hat goes to Bettendorf High School sophomore Joshua Price for reaching Eagle Scout. Price completed his Eagle Project at East Moline's Christ United Methodist Church, where he installed two park benches in commemoration of the church's 100th year. Price began scouting in 2004, and he has earned 64 merit badges en route to making Eagle Scout. He holds a first-degree black belt in Tae Kwon Do, is a Bettendorf Police Explorer, is a member of his church's chess club, plays the piano and is a junior assistant scout master at Troop 89, Bettendorf. He began his scouting career with Pack 2119, bridged to Troop 203, of Long Grove, Iowa, and later joined Troop 89. Congratulations.
Columnist John Marx can be reached at (309) 757-8388 or email@example.com.
Sherrard, IL Details
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