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Originally Posted Online: Nov. 22, 2012, 10:54 pm
Last Updated: Nov. 23, 2012, 12:05 am
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By John Marx jmarx@qconline.com

** Our world is at the mercy of some kind of battery.

** You should forgive and forget, but keep a list of names just in case.

** Fridays from this day forward will be considered the beginning of the three-day lunch.

** No matter how old you are or that you are a foot taller and 100 pounds bigger, there is a sense of fear when your mother gives you the "look.'' It happens every holiday when you and your siblings are feeling brave and a little lippy.

** You miss 100 percent of the shots you don't take.

** If some people didn't tell you, you'd never know they'd been away on vacation.

** Those line things (spaces) in parking lots are there for a reason.

** Wives and husbands should have to run for election for each other every four years.

** A 20-something parks in a handicap spot at the River Drive (Davenport) Shell station to get cigarettes and an energy drink. Really?

** There is no such thing as a mid-life crisis, a pre-sale, or re-schedule. And you don't get re-elected.
** You never think of the clever stuff until the argument is over.

** It's OK — really it is — to read your 35-item grocery receipt after you get out of the checkout line. The rest of us want to get through.

** It's called "fast'' food, so open a second register and quit herding those of us paying the freight around like cattle.

** For some reason personal space violations are at an all-time high.

** White boards never erase.

** Everybody needs a pal named "Booger,'' "Boomer,'' "'Bunky'' or "Skip.''

** It is now OK to put up your Christmas lights, play Christmas music -- occasionally on the radio -- and cut down/put up one's Christmas tree.

** Denver quarterback Peyton Manning rocks.

** It's "Christmas,'' not "Holiday'' Season.

** It is bad to join a funeral procession to get you through the red light no matter what the comedian on TV says. Bad, bad, bad.


** A morning coffee group tells me no matter what you have or do not have, we all want whatever it is we don't have."

** There should be a constitutional amendment that keeps the Twinkie alive forever.

** The NHL situation is what's wrong with our world. Billionaires sticking it to millionaires.

** If retailers wanted to open, employees wanted to work and Americans wanted to SPEND money, then shopping yesterday (Thanksgiving) was OK. Black Friday was not Black Friday before it became a made-up market-driven day with a cool name.

** If you are already in a hole, there is no use to continue digging.

** The I-74 bridge painters need to pick up the pace.


Columnist John Marx can be reached at (309) 757-8388 or jmarx@qconline.com.


















 



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  Today is Monday, Oct. 20, the 293rd day of 2014. There are 72 days left in the year.

1864 -- 150 years ago: The store of Devoe and Crampton was entered and robbed of about $500 worth of gold pens and pocket cutlery last night.
1889 -- 125 years ago: Michael Malloy was named president of the Tri-City Stone Cutters Union.
1914 -- 100 years ago: Dewitte C. Poole, former Moline newspaperman serving as vice consul general for the United States government in Paris, declared in a letter to friends that the once gay Paris is a city of sadness and desolation.
1939 -- 75 years ago: Plans for the construction of an $80,000 wholesale bakery at 2011 4th Ave. were announced by Harry and Nick Coin, of Rock Island. It is to be known as the Banquet Bakery.
1964 -- 50 years ago: An application has been filed for a state permit to organize a savings and loan association in Moline, it was announced. The applicants are Ben Butterworth, A.B. Lundahl, C. Richard Evans, John Harris, George Crampton and William Getz, all of Moline, Charles Roberts, Rock Island, and Charles Johnson, of Hampton.
1989 -- 25 years ago: Indian summer is quickly disappearing as temperatures slide into the 40s and 50s this week. Last week, highs were in the 80s.


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