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Originally Posted Online: Nov. 22, 2012, 10:54 pm
Last Updated: Nov. 23, 2012, 12:05 am
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By John Marx jmarx@qconline.com

** Our world is at the mercy of some kind of battery.

** You should forgive and forget, but keep a list of names just in case.

** Fridays from this day forward will be considered the beginning of the three-day lunch.

** No matter how old you are or that you are a foot taller and 100 pounds bigger, there is a sense of fear when your mother gives you the "look.'' It happens every holiday when you and your siblings are feeling brave and a little lippy.

** You miss 100 percent of the shots you don't take.

** If some people didn't tell you, you'd never know they'd been away on vacation.

** Those line things (spaces) in parking lots are there for a reason.

** Wives and husbands should have to run for election for each other every four years.

** A 20-something parks in a handicap spot at the River Drive (Davenport) Shell station to get cigarettes and an energy drink. Really?

** There is no such thing as a mid-life crisis, a pre-sale, or re-schedule. And you don't get re-elected.
** You never think of the clever stuff until the argument is over.

** It's OK — really it is — to read your 35-item grocery receipt after you get out of the checkout line. The rest of us want to get through.

** It's called "fast'' food, so open a second register and quit herding those of us paying the freight around like cattle.

** For some reason personal space violations are at an all-time high.

** White boards never erase.

** Everybody needs a pal named "Booger,'' "Boomer,'' "'Bunky'' or "Skip.''

** It is now OK to put up your Christmas lights, play Christmas music -- occasionally on the radio -- and cut down/put up one's Christmas tree.

** Denver quarterback Peyton Manning rocks.

** It's "Christmas,'' not "Holiday'' Season.

** It is bad to join a funeral procession to get you through the red light no matter what the comedian on TV says. Bad, bad, bad.


** A morning coffee group tells me no matter what you have or do not have, we all want whatever it is we don't have."

** There should be a constitutional amendment that keeps the Twinkie alive forever.

** The NHL situation is what's wrong with our world. Billionaires sticking it to millionaires.

** If retailers wanted to open, employees wanted to work and Americans wanted to SPEND money, then shopping yesterday (Thanksgiving) was OK. Black Friday was not Black Friday before it became a made-up market-driven day with a cool name.

** If you are already in a hole, there is no use to continue digging.

** The I-74 bridge painters need to pick up the pace.


Columnist John Marx can be reached at (309) 757-8388 or jmarx@qconline.com.
















 



Local events heading








  Today is Thursday, July 24, the 205th day of 2014. There are 160 days left in the year.

1864 -- 150 years ago: The Rev. R.J. Humphrey, once a clergyman in this city, was reported killed in a quarrel in New Orleans.
1889 -- 125 years ago: The Rock Island Citizens Improvement Association held a special meeting to consider the proposition of consolidating Rock Island and Moline.
1914 -- 100 years ago: The home of A. Freeman, 806 3rd Ave., was entered by a burglar while a circus parade was in progress and about $100 worth of jewelry and $5 in cash were taken.
1939 -- 75 years ago: The million dollar dredge, Rock Island, of the Rock Island district of United States engineers will be in this area this week to deepen the channel at the site of the new Rock Island-Davenport bridge.
1964 -- 50 years ago: The Argus "walked" to a 13-0 victory over American Container Corporation last night to clinch the championship of Rock Island's A Softball League at Northwest Douglas Park.
1989 -- 25 years ago: The Immediate Care Center emergency medical office at South Park Mall is moving back to United Medical Center on Sept. 1. After nearly six years in operation at the mall, Care Center employees are upset by UMC's decision. The center is used by 700 to 800 people each month.








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