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Originally Posted Online: Nov. 22, 2012, 10:54 pm
Last Updated: Nov. 23, 2012, 12:05 am
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By John Marx jmarx@qconline.com

** Our world is at the mercy of some kind of battery.

** You should forgive and forget, but keep a list of names just in case.

** Fridays from this day forward will be considered the beginning of the three-day lunch.

** No matter how old you are or that you are a foot taller and 100 pounds bigger, there is a sense of fear when your mother gives you the "look.'' It happens every holiday when you and your siblings are feeling brave and a little lippy.

** You miss 100 percent of the shots you don't take.

** If some people didn't tell you, you'd never know they'd been away on vacation.

** Those line things (spaces) in parking lots are there for a reason.

** Wives and husbands should have to run for election for each other every four years.

** A 20-something parks in a handicap spot at the River Drive (Davenport) Shell station to get cigarettes and an energy drink. Really?

** There is no such thing as a mid-life crisis, a pre-sale, or re-schedule. And you don't get re-elected.
** You never think of the clever stuff until the argument is over.

** It's OK — really it is — to read your 35-item grocery receipt after you get out of the checkout line. The rest of us want to get through.

** It's called "fast'' food, so open a second register and quit herding those of us paying the freight around like cattle.

** For some reason personal space violations are at an all-time high.

** White boards never erase.

** Everybody needs a pal named "Booger,'' "Boomer,'' "'Bunky'' or "Skip.''

** It is now OK to put up your Christmas lights, play Christmas music -- occasionally on the radio -- and cut down/put up one's Christmas tree.

** Denver quarterback Peyton Manning rocks.

** It's "Christmas,'' not "Holiday'' Season.

** It is bad to join a funeral procession to get you through the red light no matter what the comedian on TV says. Bad, bad, bad.


** A morning coffee group tells me no matter what you have or do not have, we all want whatever it is we don't have."

** There should be a constitutional amendment that keeps the Twinkie alive forever.

** The NHL situation is what's wrong with our world. Billionaires sticking it to millionaires.

** If retailers wanted to open, employees wanted to work and Americans wanted to SPEND money, then shopping yesterday (Thanksgiving) was OK. Black Friday was not Black Friday before it became a made-up market-driven day with a cool name.

** If you are already in a hole, there is no use to continue digging.

** The I-74 bridge painters need to pick up the pace.


Columnist John Marx can be reached at (309) 757-8388 or jmarx@qconline.com.
















 



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  Today is Saturday, April 19, the 109th day of 2014. There are 256 days left in the year.

1864 -- 150 years ago: Miss McCorkindale has opened millinery rooms over Gimbel's dry goods store, where she offers a choice lot of millinery goods, which she will manufacture to order.
1889 -- 125 years ago: The little South Park Presbyterian chapel celebrated it first Easter decorated with flowers for an afternoon worship service attended by a large congregation.
1914 -- 100 years ago: The Wennerberg Chorus of Augustana College has returned from a 2,000-mile tour in the Eastern states and Illinois.
1939 -- 75 years ago: Col. Charles Lindbergh has stated that he is convinced that Germany's air force is equal to the combined sky fleets of her potential European foes.
1964 -- 50 years ago: Small gas motors may be permitted on boats in the lake to be built in Loud Thunder Forest Preserve. The prospect was discussed yesterday at a meeting of the Rock Island County Forest Preserve Commission.
1989 -- 25 years ago: The annual Dispatch/Rock Island Argus Spelling Bee continues to be a family tradition. Ed Lee, an eighth-grader at John Deere Junior High School, Moline, is the 1989 spelling bee champion from among 49 top spellers in Rock Island, Henry and Mercer counties. He advances to the competition in Washington, D.C. Runnerup was Ed's sister, Susan.






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