A few years back, I took exception when ballroom dancing was considered as a possible Olympic sport.

I tossed out options like checkers, chess, air hockey, pogo-stick jumping and three-legged racing as other Olympic options if ballroom dancing got the nod. It's dancing, for goodness' sake. What's it take to dance?

OK, I'm a fool.

It takes skill I don't have to dance, and folks who do it for a living -- or competitively for fun and trophies -- have my undying admiration.

Why? Because I have four left feet.

I'm learning to dance. Not silly jump-on-table-at-a-party-or-atop-a-bar dancing, but the real stuff. I'm a waltzing-tangoing-disco-salsa-fox-trottin' fool (but never made fun of), and proud of it.

I'm beaten thrice weekly for 75 minutes, but proud. I'm sore, blistered, embarrassed that I can't tell my right from my left, and out of my league, but proud.

It'd be easier to recite "War and Peace" than to remember all the intricacies of being a good dancer.

My dance infatuation began with TV's "Dancing With the Stars." I liked that it showed how much it takes to dance professionally, and how it humbled some of TV's biggest names.

Then a call from Gianni Rondonni came. Gianni, a professional dancer and well-known instructor, asked me if I'd participate in his "Dancing With Quad-Cities Media Stars" show.

I agreed.

Gianni, who could do stand-up if the dancing gig ever fails, made a mistake when he picked me.

I'm awful, but I've come leaps and dancing bounds from the first day three weeks ago, when I stepped all over Gianni's and a nice lady named Trace Francis' toes.

Dancing's hard. It's tough to remember the steps, the turns, the movements, all while maintaining proper posture and not killing your partner. In my will, I'm leaving protective footwear to Gianni, Tracey, Elizabeth Nino, Angela Polenske, Lindsey Krueger, Lynn Heston and Mary Jo Daly, who have patiently dealt with my four left feet.

Three days a week, I train. My dance lessons leave me huffing, sweaty and puffing as much as do my workouts the other two days each week.

Dancing -- although some of the fellas I run with will laugh to hear this -- is fun. Nail a step just the way Gianni shows you, or carry out a routine correctly more than once, and it feels as if you've accomplished something.

The goal is prepare myself to dance against three-time UFC heavyweight champ Tim Sylvia (let's see you make fun of him), WOC-AM's Jim Victor, KUUL-FM's Steve Ketelaar, KCQQ-FM's Julie Jameson, WHBF-TV's Keegan Feeney, Miss Iowa Emily Nicholas, and Davenport Police Officer Rhonda Green in a show June 29 at Davenport's Outing Club.

We will dance in front of judges and an audience, and the money raised will go to charity. (Call (563) 570-5050 for more information or to order tickets.)

It sure would be great to un-left some feet by then.

Columnist John Marx can be reached at (309) 786-6441, ext. 291, or by e-mail at jmarx@qconline.com.